Recently I attended this free challenge by Tony Robbins and was so inspired by him that I decided to write a series of articles about it and how it helped me to get certainty about what I want.
He started by asking these questions:
What was your personal and business breakthroughs?
What was the situation you struggled with for a long time and then finally broke through?
What was the moment that changed it all? What triggered it?
What made it a MUST?
What made it possible for that change to last?
Was it a new belief, strategy, or insight?
Pain Brings Change
The thing that triggers it is pain or loss. Loss of income or health.
You get through enough of it that your brain finally said: “I’ve had enough of this.” You just had to change right now.
Something happens to inspire you – it’s how a pattern begins.
“Life happens for you, not to you.” Tony Robbins.
People then start to look for the HOW or a new strategy, but it is not where you should start.
There are three things that will make change last.
Do not start with looking for the strategy because there is a good reason. If the other two things are not in place first, then it will never work.
To TRY will never give you results. You say that you have tried this or that, but it did not work. It did not work because trying alone will not give you results.
It’s not HOW first but it’s WHAT and WHY first.
Your story must first change to what you want and why you want it.
What happened is not that I am being punished but that I need to grow.
If there is an area in your life where you still feel pain, you must be able to be free of it.
You will hang on to the pain until you find something you value more.
To Change Your Story Will Change Your Life
Once you believe your old story, you are stuck.
The answer is right in front of you but you now have a blind spot and you can’t see it because of your negative beliefs.
Divorce your story of limitation and maybe the truth that you have unlimited possibilities will be revealed to you. Anything is possible if you step up and are willing to do the difficult things.
The things outside your comfort zone.
The bible says: “Seek and you shall find”
Once you believe something, you will find it. It can be both positive and negative.
If you believe that there is a solution for your problem, then you shall find it.
If you believe that there is something wrong with you, you will find things that are wrong with you, even if it is not!
Your beliefs will hold you in a place of limitation or release you to go for progress because you’re not going to implement the story if you believe all the opportunities are not for you.
Intellectually you know better but emotionally they get you at times.
You got to break the pattern and then finally the order is that you must start with your state or mindset and not with your strategy.
First you must be in the correct emotional state so that you can change your story positively and then you will find the correct strategy.
State → Story → Strategy
Your emotional state determines or controls everything you do or don’t do.
The way to change it quickly is to get your body moving and to breathe deeply.
This way you build energy, and you shift everything.
If you are in love with someone, you’ll do anything for them.
Your state affects your story, and it is influenced by what you focus on and WHY you do it. The strategy is not going to work if your state and the story is negative.
Your mental emotional state can be changed so easily but most of us don’t know it.
By changing the way you move your body, the way you breath, the way you use your voice, instantly changes your biochemistry.
Have you often wondered why tennis players make that sound when they hit the ball? It motivates them, gives them that extra energy to succeed.
Just to use a power stance with your hands on your hips does the following:
- Your testosterone increases by 20%.
- Your stress hormone, cortisol decreases by 25%.
- Your risk tolerance increases by 33%.
- It gives you much more drive.
Movement and using your voice increase it even more than the power stance.
Your state can be changed by movement.
Depressed people’s shoulders are slumped, head down, shallow breathing, talking softly and slowly.
You should do the opposite to become positive and cheerful.
The first thing you must do is to decide to change. Without a decisive decision, nothing will happen.
In 1990 my heart stopped while my wife was rushing me to hospital and she panicked and lost control of the car. During the accident I was hit in the chest and my heart started beating again. My wife did not even have a scratch but the vehicle was a write-off.
Afterwards I decided to stop smoking immediately and within days I had no more desire to smoke ever again. When my wife was diagnosed with diabetes, I decided to stop using sugar in my tea and coffee and I never did again.
To take the decision can change your life if the WHY is strong enough.
Change Your State to Change Your Life
First you must decide and then start moving, shouting and become excited to change your state and your story and you will find the right strategy.
When you are stuck, like me now, it’s not that we are not capable of turning it around. It’s just that we get stuck using only a part of ourselves.
I recently lost my job as a project manager and since then we are living on our fast-dwindling savings. It was during Tony’s challenge that I realized that what is holding me back, is my limiting belief that I am too old at 68 years of age to find work again.
Tony gave us Four ways to get better inside:
- Warrior part of your personality – the part of you that will not be stopped. It will push through the pain and push through the challenges. It’ll find the way no matter what. It will not give up, being unstoppable and won’t be limited. It will break through anything. Where does that person live in you? Is it in your chest?
- The magician in you. It’s not stressed – it knows it’s all perception. It’s all a story and it can change like that in a second. The magician knows that with a few words, with a change in focus, all can change. The magician knows they can change a frog into a prince. They have a smile. There’s a humour in the magician. They’re humanized by things that other people are all stressed by. Unlike the warrior’s going to push through, the magician will find the answer and just make it happen. Where is the magician living? Is it in your face? The warrior has a different story than the magician.
- The lover is all about love. Loving who you’re with. Loving what you’re doing. Loving your life. Every aspect of it feeling the sense of joy and gratitude and connection and energy. Where is the lover in you? Is it in your heart?
- The sovereign – the king. It’s the wise one that has been through the battles and is not fearful. The king is about service. You are the king because you are the servant. The hero is the person who serves others. Jesus is our true example. When you become the king or queen or you tap into the king that’s in you, there is a different level of wisdom. You know that you could lose the battle, but you know you’re going to win the war. You know everything is temporary, but long-term it’ll all work out. You know that you are guided, you know what to do, you know the strategy. So where does the king live in you? Is it in your head?
It will give you totally different answers. What does the warrior say to the king or the magician? What does the king say to them or the lover? What does the lover say to all?
The warrior says: “Matt, we can do it, we never give up, we have what it takes, just focus on doing what the magician tells us to do”.
The magician says: “Matt, you have the intelligence and skills to do most anything you set your mind to. The warrior will pull you through while your mind tells you what to do.”
The lover says: “With God and your wife at your side, there is nothing too big to overcome. Love wins it all!”
The king says: “Matt, we have been through hell and back, but we always know that HE looks after us and HE will provide.”
Change Your Story and You Change Your Life
What has been the story of your life so far? What’s been the story of limitation that you want to change?
God has always provided in good times and bad times, even in the worse times when we lost our farms due to a severe three-year drought in 1993.
We were able to start a computer business that is providing an income to our children even after thirty years. Fifty percent of businesses do not even make it through the first five years.
When we lost our eldest daughter, Wilmien, at twenty years of age in 2003, due to a hit-and-run accident, we saw how blessed we were with three more beautiful and talented children.
Today my eldest son Paul manages the computer business and is a network specialist that keeps all the businesses running in town as well as the banks and even the Police.
My youngest son Stefan is doing the books of the business and handles all the orders while my younger daughter Sorita has her degree in Fine Art and handles all the printing and design for the business. Her husband Rihan is a technician and does all the repairs of the computers, printers and converters.
We now live with electrical load shedding in South Africa and businesses rely on battery backup a lot. That is why power converters have become so important as well as solar power.
What role did you play in the story?
As a student in high school I became the victim when I stated smoking but I was still able to complete at my school as Dux Student in 1972. My degree as engineer I obtained at the Pretoria University within just four years. Normally such a degree takes five years. Thus, I became the victor instead of the victim.
Why is it that I still doubt my ability to serve after more than forty years of experience in the field of computing and engineering? It’s all in the head.
How Can You Change Your Story?
What role did we play in our limiting story?
What emotions did your old story create? Frustration, anger, stress, over-whelm, anxiety, loneliness, sadness, feeling that I failed my family especially when we lost our farms.
What will be your new story?
A story of abundance and success? A story of God helping us again by providing an outcome like so many times in the past. A story with a future for our children and grandchildren. Our children to live in a new adventurous and peaceful world with unlimited opportunities for all.
A turnaround in our country that will astonish the world? The discovery of free energy for all? No more corruption and scarcity of anything. No more racism or discrimination. UNSHAKEABLE!
What are the three traits in your new story?
Being bold, being authentic, being creative, being playful, being lovable, being kind, being supportive with perseverance.
How will your new story change your life for the better?
Will we work on our intellectual emotional state of mind?
Will we change our story so that we can have a new beginning?
Will we find the correct strategy that will lead us to success and prosperity?
Will we become a blessing to others?
(This is a summary of my notes that I took on the first day of Tony Robbin’s Unshakeable Challenge on 24 January 2023.)
Please let me know what you think in the comments below. Would you like me to write articles on the other days as well?